Gay Marriage from the Perspective of a Gay Conservative

The Supreme Court handed down a decision this past week on gay marriage.  The court decided that the +/- 1500 year tradition of marriage, widely believed by Christians to be a religious institution and sacrament, joining one man and one woman, is not legal.  In this single decision, a group of 5 people set the stage which will ultimately change the legal validity of one of the most fundamental beliefs of the Christian (and any other) faith.   

According to Justice Kennedy, the 14^th amendment gives everyone the right to marry – stretching the intentions of one simple paragraph within the amendment:

“No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.”

The court also commented that religious freedom would have protection under this ruling, adding that businesses or organizations (Churches) could not be forced to act against their beliefs under this ruling.  Justice Scalia however disagrees, saying he expects additional challenges to come from this ruling.  I agree with Justice Scalia.  After all, if it is legal for same gender couples to marry, couldn’t it be argued that this law applies everywhere?   I expect it will be argued, placing religious freedom in jeopardy.

As a conservative, this decision was nothing more than a panel of 5, not interpreting, but creating a law which will negatively impact the religious freedom of Christians, Jews, Muslims and all other people of faith.  This ruling was nothing short of the judicial branch of our government acting illegally, in sync with an executive branch, run a muck.

As a Christian, I feel that nobody should discriminate against another person because of their skin color, their national origin or their “gender attraction”.  Contrary to the opinion of Justice Thomas, this ruling however, is not about any of those things.  If we were arguing the right for a gay person to patronize a business or attend religious services, I would feel much different.  In this case however, we are arguing the rights of a group of activists, 5 judges and a rogue President to force a religious group, Christians for purposes of this post, to change their fundamental beliefs.  

Why do I call them activists?  A person fighting for the right to the same benefits provided to married couples – the right to visit their partner in a hospital or a right to “next of kin” status, and so forth, can be granted through a civil union law.  Most Christians believe a civil union is similar to marriage, without the religious endorsement – a point of contention by many opponents.  From a religious standpoint, any union outside of a religious institution is a civil union.  For any group to seek a legal decision which will force a religion to change or violate it’s fundamental beliefs, is nothing more than activism…and it is wrong!

As a Christian, I have been taught that marriage is the joining of a man and woman for purposes of advancing the human race through procreation.  My faith has taught me some basic rules – sex outside of marriage is a sin and sex for any reason other than procreation is a sin.  Since my faith does not allow for same gender marriage and sex among two people of the same gender can never result in the creation a child, sex between two people of the same gender is therefore, always a sin.  

With this said, the Bible does not differ on the severity of the types of sexual sin, i.e., it is equally sinful for a man and woman to engage in sex before marriage; sex while married for any reason other than procreation; and masturbatory sex.  As a Christian, I know I am a sinner as we all are, so I do not condemn myself, or judge anyone for committing these sins – but I accept that they are sins for which I am expected to seek forgiveness.  

As a Christian, American who is also gay, I feel I am amply qualified to speak for myself on this subject.  Many people do not know that I am gay.  At 52, single and still pretty darn good looking, I am sure that many suspect or assume that I am gay, but because I have never defined myself as gay, it has never been relevant, until now – “not that there is anything wrong with it”. 

For those who may wonder why I never told them I am gay, it is because you never asked.  As a gay man though, I am bothered by people, gay and straight, who presume to think for me.  Unlike others, I do not define myself by my gender attraction  [I do not use sexual preference because it is not a preference, it is an attraction.  I am attracted to some people of the same gender, but no one of the opposite gender.  Chocolate over vanilla ice cream is a preference because I can have either but choose one over the other.]  

I define myself first, as a Christian, next as an American, then as a man,,,and somewhere down the line, as a gay man.  Just as I do not expect a straight person to come to me and tell me they are straight, I do not feel the need to tell you I am not, unless I will be in a situation where this information may be relevant – a camping trip, for example.  I don’t care who you are attracted to, unless it is me; and you should not care who I am attracted to, unless it is you.  

Gay groups feel that gay people are deserving of special treatment.  Gay groups have tried to place the gay community at the same level as blacks, women or the blind; or any other minority group.  Gay groups are the only minority group that feels they deserve special treatment solely on the basis of their gender attraction.  As for me, I am special because I am one of God’s children, but I am not special because I am gay.  When you look at me, you will first see me as short, bald and overweight (but still good looking).  You will judge me based on these features before you ever, if ever, consider whether I am gay or straight.  While I have not always been bald and overweight, I have always been gay (and good looking) and have always believed as I believe today.

I also do not consider being gay as a handicap entitling me to special rights or privileges.  I believe that God created me as I am for a reason.  It was not a punishment or a practical joke, but part of his greater plan.  When I was younger it was difficult to understand why I was different, and I prayed to be changed. As a child, then later as a young teen, though I knew I was different, even as I constantly asked God to make me “normal”, I never questioned my faith.  For any gay person reading this, you can certainly relate like no straight person can.  

As I aged, I realized that it was not about me, but what God chose for me.  I believe that married couples fulfill his plan through their dedication and hard work to create and raise a family of faithful servants of God.  While married couples are expected by God to honor each other, I believe God desired for single people to be dedicated only to his great name.  This would certainly explain my unconditional, unwavering and lifelong faith.

As a Christian, conservative, gay man, I am in an exclusive group.  But within my group are people who believe that we must fight to save our faith and our nation from those who seek to destroy it.  We do not judge people based on race, national origin, gender attraction or religion. To do so would not be consistent with our Christian faith.  As a supporter of Ted Cruz, a proud and vocal Christian who also opposes the action of the Supreme Court, I don’t know if he would welcome me as a supporter but suspect that he would.  Unlike many Christians, I believe Ted Cruz is a true Christian who follows his faith and avoids judging others.  

Unlike many activist gay men and women,  I am a man who cares about my country and will not vote on a single issue.  I am an American who honors the flag of red, white and blue, not a flag of divisive rainbow colors.  It would be great to have my chosen candidate agree with everything I believe, but I will support the person who is best for our nation. Today, the nation needs someone who will fight to save our system of government, our Constitution - This is Ted Cruz!

The activists and left wing progressives have claimed to be the party of the under-privileged, yet they seek to take away the very freedoms which allow all people to live together despite their differences, religious freedom in this case.   As they see it, everyone should have equal rights as long as they are biased toward, or in full agreement with their thinking.  Most conservatives in my circles believe everyone should have the rights granted us by the Constitution, with their differences tolerated, even if they are not supported; but not to the extent that one group should lose their rights in order to extend special privileges to another group.  The only exception being made for those who are unable to take care of themselves.

Again, in the Christian faith, marriage is a sacramental union between a man and a woman.  A religious union is also afforded protections under civil law.  In a civil union, a couple – man and woman, woman and woman or man and man; gay or straight; can, should and in many states, does have a right to be joined, giving the couples the same legal rights as they would enjoy in a marriage, without the religious endorsement.  Potentially under a civil union, as friends age and spouses die, two life-long friends would be able to create a legal, non-sexual, union for purposes of having someone to make important decisions on the other person’s behalf - someone to be an end of life companion.  After all, for most of us, sex will not be as important at 80 as it was at 20.

There has been and will continue to be much discussion on this ruling.  People who think as I think will be called “haters” and "homophobes", which is why I feel it is important that I speak from my perspective as a Christian, American man who happens to be gay.  I have gay friends and have been in relationships, albeit by choice, not for the past several years. I support all of my gay friends in their relationships.  Most people who know me, whether they are gay or straight, also know my feelings about gay marriage.  In every aspect of their life, I believe a gay couple has a right to live as they choose, but when it threatens my religion or tries to pit me against my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ; this is where I draw my line.  My gay brothers and sisters, how can we ask to be allowed to live in peace, if we are not willing to let others do the same?  

Finally, the opposition says they are not trying to take away our religious freedom. The opposition either does not believe in God or believes that "God hates gays".  If this is true, why would you want to be married in a church?  

If, on the other hand, you are Christian and gay, you know that even though Jesus loves you, gay sexual activity is a sin so gay marriage would also be disallowed.  My questions here are, what do you expect to gain from the Supreme Court decision?  Do you think the Supreme Court has the ability to over-rule Jesus?